How would you feel if your mother was living in a tent in your backyard? Would it upset you? Would you be bothered by it? What if you were four years old? What if you were six years old how would you feel about it then? These are the exact questions I posed to my ex this morning. She doesn’t see it as a big deal at all.

Her response to me was something to the effect of “I’d be happy I got to see her”. Are you kidding me? You think thats how a four and a six year old think? Not on your best day! Rather they worry. They wonder why mommy doesn’t just come in the house and sleep. They get this added stress that children of four and six should not have to deal with.

Whats worse is my six year old actually tries to ask her and beg her every night not to sleep outside. He hates that she sleeps outside. Even if its raining she is out there. How are our kids going to do anything except worry about it. I think they’d rather her not live with them, and know she is safe then have her living outside in a tent where they see her everyday and worry about her.

And why is she in a tent? Because of her boyfriend! Her boyfriend isn’t aloud to sleep in my parents house. My parents don’t want another guy walking into and back out of my kids life. They don’t want my kids to get attached to someone who is only going to be gone in a few months. The truth is, I agree completely! It would be different if my ex actually maintained any sort of real long term relationships but she doesn’t. Its one guy to the next. On occasion one might stick around for a few months, but nothing longer than that.

Now perhaps this is just me having grown up thoughts, but how do you think a child feels when their parents boyfriend or girlfriend comes before they do? In essence thats exactly what she is saying to my kids. “No honey. I know you want me to sleep inside and are going to worry to death about me if I don’t, but I’d rather sleep outside with my boyfriend then put your mind to ease”.

Okay so maybe I am going a bit over the top with that, but really would it kill her to appease the kids once in a great while and actually sleep INSIDE?

Then I start questioning myself. Perhaps its just me being a jealous ex boyfriend. Maybe its just that nights like last night piss me off to know end. And what happened last night? Well after walking to my parents house, and getting my kids put to bed, I decided to use the computer. Guess who should show up at 11:00 at night? My ex (of course she lives there!).

Well even though its poring raining and the rain is coming down hard enough to drown out any noise, and even though my oldest child is asleep one room away with his music playing loud enough for me to hear it on the computer, I still hear her moaning and having sex. She’s outside, its poring, the music is going, I am inside on the computer, and I still have to hear her loud ass moans!

Well I opened the door and told them to shut the fsck up! I didn’t want to hear her. I didn’t want my kids waking up and hearing her. If she is that loud (believe me she didn’t used to be I think its just an act for her boyfriend) then I really have to wonder what my kids heard when they lived in her apartment with her. It was a box with rooms attached! If she had sex even while they were asleep and it was that loud I have little doubt they have been woken up to her noise. They probably just cover their ears and try to go back to sleep.

But again, perhaps I am just being stupid about all this. Am I acting like a jealous ex? Or is this really about my kids? What do you think?