I am likely to be one of the few guys to say this in todays world, but I don’t have a lot of ex girlfriends. I wasn’t the guy competing to get into other girls pants. I’ve had a small handful (I can count on one hand) of girlfriends that I was in somewhat long term relationships with.

Now I consider myself to be one of those people who can truly maintain a good friendship with an ex girlfriend as long as things are kept practical and within a certain perspective. However apparently the girls I know don’t really share the same belief. The mother of my kids, well she just flat out hates me. There is no friendship even possible with her at this point. I know, I’ve tried and tried and tried.

Another of my ex’s who I am actually afraid to talk about on this blog because real people I know read it, I think still has a lot of feelings for me, but because she loves her current boyfriend we know longer really talk. I still love her a lot also (you will find I believe love is an emotion that if one finds truly never dies), things just didn’t work out between us because the timing wasn’t right. We are still friends, but we are friends at a distance.

Now the third girl, I am head over heels for her. I would trade my life to save hers. She is the girl I have been in love with sense the first time I new what love was. She knows this and…. well I’m not exactly sure how she feels because she is evasive about the topic. However for the most part we stay friends. However nights like last night, well they just make me wonder.

What happened last night? Well I am not going to go into details exactly because if anyone does know who I am talking about that would just be disrespectful, but I will say a couple vague things. Basically last night she forgot just how much I do care about her and did things I would consider less then appropriate to do to a friend in my situation. In her defense she was a bit not herself. None the less, my heart hurts because of it.

Is a friendship worth the pain I feel in my heart?

Yeah I know you are wondering what this has to do with my kids right? *sighs* I’d love to have an answer but the truth is I don’t have one. I just felt like getting this off my chest and really didn’t have anyone I could tell. So here it is, my randomness.